


Guilt

by Arin_K



Series: New ERA [4]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gavin is not a villain, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, he's just a man who really fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 22:30:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15325812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arin_K/pseuds/Arin_K
Summary: This little story happens shortly after "Human After All" from the New ERA series.It was supposed to be Gavin/guilt fic, but it worked out more like “Gavin getting traumatised watching Connor’s memories” fic. Oops.Nothing really explicit, but I’d consider it NSFW.Sorry not sorry, my hand slipped.(The flashbacks from “Sacrificial Lamb” and the New Era setup are used with Fantismal‘s kind permission)





	Guilt

***

First there was Fowler with that folder of his. Gavin still did not fully believe him, or, more likely, it was sort of a psychological defense, but everything inside him was screaming “it was not like that”, goddamned plastic couldn’t feel. And then there was that mental image of Connor, now imprinted in his head for the rest of his life. Desperate, horrified, bloody and hurt.  
_You left him there._  
Gavin slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand, trying to get rid of the thought.

Then there was Hank. Hank was in the kitchen, and the simple task of getting a cup of coffee was suddenly as difficult as walking in a pool of ice-cold water. Hank looked at him silently, and something in his eyes made Gavin regret Fowler’s decision.  
\- Hank, look, I’m…  
The old man simply walked away, leaving his coffee, as if Reed brought in some contagious disease.  
Of course he didn’t want to talk for now, his precious robo-boy was tortured and raped, fully understanding and feeling the horror of it all while Reed was sitting at the police station making the “Worst first time award” jokes in his head.

It wasn’t that bad, Gavin told himself. In comparison to what _they_ did, he most likely just trashed the android a little. He had to get his mind some rest. He had to see that footage to be sure it was not that bad.

***

His ranks allowed him to access the video - containing no top-secret data, it was considered evidence. After everyone left the station in the evening, Gavin shut himself in a small dim projector room and went through the sped up video, hours and hours of torture, beating, disassembling and Eden routine, over and over again. How could the android possibly be sentient and keep his sanity after this?  
Then somewhere in a middle flashed a drastic change of contrast and light, and Gavin slowed the video down just out of interest.  
There was a dark room, TV speaking in a distance, and there was Hank in an old crumpled gray t-shirt, reaching for him.  
Gavin scoffed, feeling uneasy all of sudden. It was obviously a memory in memory, something Connor kept on remembering in moments of distress. Very personal.

Finally Gavin saw himself, walking into the room with a malicious smile. What he believed to be redemption turned into execution.

_\- Reed, please..._  
The android could break him in half, but he didn’t want to fight, just tried to get away from Gavin. And Gavin, looking like a complete psycho, used Freeze on him.  
He was scared, he hadn’t expected it and was frantically looking around for something to save him, stress levels jumping drastically.  
_\- I told you... to beg._  
The lines of code filled the screen, as if the android was trying to find an exit. But Gavin spoke to Cunningham, and that man definitely did not leave one for his prey.  
The bed, why was there the damn bed, androids don’t need to actually sleep, especially being dehumanized as Connor was, but he decided to ignore the obvious.  
_\- You are a sexbot._  
Connor’s vision changed slightly, making every move look as if delayed for a few milliseconds, a weird and uncomfortable representation of arousal.  
He was scared, he was scared to death, his stress level almost 100%, and he couldn’t self-destruct, he couldn’t do anything, because sexbots are made to endure.  
His own voice considering it hot almost made Gavin retch.  
_Did you know what Cunningham was going to do as soon as you left?_  
Well, he was going to find out now and take full responsibility.  
It was like a very sick first person computer game, except that it was Connor’s only reality for several goddamned months.  
_\- What if I break your jaw before you suck me off?_  
_\- Yes, Arthur, please..._ \- the routine moaned.  
Connor closed his eyes, leaving blackness, warning and error messages dotting the edges, and the now sickening sound of breaking plastic.  
“Eyeball lubricant level: low”  
“Biocomponent #6755w damaged”  
“Thirium loss”  
_\- Open your eyes_.  
Clink of a belt.  
Gavin hung his head and absent-mindedly rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
The sounds he heard were at least disgusting. The man was fucking him, and beating him up, all over again, Connor, no, the routine, literally begging for it.  
Gavin didn’t want to see it all, he never wanted in the first place, but he made himself watch and it was like consciously hurting oneself to feel less guilty. And it didn’t help.

 _\- You did good, kid,_ \- Cunningham said, and Gavin almost vomited his last cup of coffee all over the place.  
_He_ did bad. Both as a police officer and a human being. It was okay to succumb to emotions and kick things. It was not okay to succumb to emotions and sense of impunity and lust for power and beat something so human-like to a bloody pulp. Someone, Gavin corrected himself. It’s “someone” now.

***

He tries to curl up on the floor and uses his one good hand to cover his face. The hand is trembling.  
A small red line on top of the screen appears again.  
“Eyeball lubricant level: low”  
Did he, like, ran out of tears?  
Dark room, soft noise coming from a TV, Hank in an old crumpled t-shirt hugging him close and telling him it was going to be okay.  
The memory continued playing even when technicians appeared in the background, lifting him and dragging to that magnet on the wall.  
_\- Freeze, motherfucker._  
Another way to use the routine. They disassembled him, not bothering to turn the pain off.  
_\- Please, don’t…_ \- more static than words.  
The technician opened his mouth and took the voice synthesizer out, making more warnings appear as soon as he touched the android’s damaged face.  
And that cursed warning saying that the damn thing... That Connor literally cried his eyes out, was there, too.  
_\- Fried another one, damn you._  
The Hank memory started playing all over again.

Gavin turned the monitor off. He needed a drink. A weeklong drink. So bad he wasn’t some goddamned Anderson to get away with such a long absence.

***

Next morning the police station was unexpectedly lively, people chatting here and there, as if he missed some news. Gavin hated them all really hard - his head hurt after getting drunk all night long.

Reed approached his table when the door of Fowler’s office opened and he saw the most stunning thing in his life again, casually chatting with obviously satisfied Hank. North, her name was North. And North recognised him.  
Gavin knew that look. He saw it when one of his girlfriends caught him cheating, and it meant “I know everything you did and you are going to suffer».  
Gavin didn’t feel horny looking at her now. What he wanted to do most was apologize to her, too.


End file.
